A pair in an English class have a research paper that has the same thing as my partner's and I--homosexuality--but in a different point of view--a view to which I do not comprehend. In their paper, they have stated that homosexuality is a psychological disorder: "a cause of obsessive-compulsiveness, neurosis and a phenomenon of heterophobia."

    First off, let us all define these three terms. Obsessive compulsiveness is a persistent disturbing preoccupation with an unreasonable idea or feeling. Neurosis is a disorder that is characterized by symptoms like anxiety, insecurity, depression and unreasonable fears with the person's life and relations with others. Heterophobia, on the other hand, is the fear of heterosexuals (straight men and/or women).

    Homosexuality is still not wholly accepted by the society, even if it seems that the secular kind of life is already dominant in families around the world nowadays. One reason for this is still the misleading conceptions regarding homosexuality and its definition.

    Homosexuality as some could put it, could be the unnatural sexual preference of a person with the same gender. Or some could put it as a tendency of a person to act oppositely as expected in nature, and tend to act like the opposite gender. But still, psychologists still have no established definition for it.

    The paper's generalization of the definition of homosexuality as some sort of disease caused by heterophobia and neurosis shows signs of homophobia for the part of the writers of the paper. Although, after reading the term paper, we could consider that it might be a mere compilation of different sources gathered up and compiled to form a viable thesis statement. Still, these statements on the definition of homosexuality could still be refuted, unless, of course, backed by good scientific evidence. The verifiability of the paper is still dependent on studies that will have to be worked on by established psychologists and psychoanalysts.

    Although, when I think about it--the work is supposed to be a term paper--a research project on a particular topic, and not a thesis which aims to prove something. So, the connections the researchers made on the words 'neurosis', 'obsessive-compulsive disorder' and 'heterophobia' to the word 'homosexuality' still cannot be considered reliable, or even accurate, since perhaps, even the researchers themselves do not truly understand the meanings of these words entirely because they are not of people with specialty in this field of study.

    So the resolution to the dilemma could be this, since this is simply a research paper, I would not generalize that this is a direct attack to homosexuals everywhere--which could prove disastrous and damaging to even the writers themselves. But I could conclude that this might've been an error on their part because they chose to relate very specialized terms in the field of psychology to define a sensitive topic such as homosexuality. Still, it worries me so, that perhaps, the people who wrote this paper, could've done this in purpose--not merely as an accomplishment to a requirement for a research--but are already dropping their clues of their abhorrence and bitterness towards homosexuals, which can't be good.

    Hatred towards homosexuals is obviously not constructive. Hatred of people--for simply being who they are--makes homophobia even worse.

    From ignorance comes fear; and from fear comes discrimination.
   

        There’s been so much going on in the country lately, with the present ZTE scandal, rallies everywhere, plans of a revolution, allegations of corruption, rising prices of commodities, poor living conditions and consistent environmental degradation.

 

               But has there ever been a time when these issues haven’t plagued us? Or are we just stuck in this endless cycle of return everytime there is an issue we have to face in our government?

 

            Some solutions that the government can administer is by having its officials be more objective, have a control of corruption, heighten a sense of patriotism in every Filipino, and try to improve the educational institutions for a higher literacy rate.

 

            A higher literacy rate can significantly affect the attitudes and aptitudes of all citizens in the country and can also improve the way citizens choose the public servants who would serve in the government. Literacy is essential, but having a higher literacy rate can assure a more scrutinizing citizenry when it comes to people who would serve in the government.

 

            Although it seems like an endless cycle of issues here and there, the solutions to all the government’s problems is still up to the government to give a solution to. All the country needs is one push out of its hole in all these problems, and from there we can start to change for the better and for the continuous growth and development of the Philippines.

He wore his always beautiful deep-set eyes that she would never get tired looking at even if her eyes would dry up because of all the tears they’ve let each other cry.

His scrumptious lips still accompanied his warm and inviting breath—that of which only his that makes her mind go crazy--and if permitted by time, she would always dream to kiss his gentle, subtle red lips and would never let go to forever experience its great-tasting ambrosiac flesh.

And his unexpected scent struck her once more while they sat side by side, that smell that merely lingers along his flawed physical form as if it was from someplace so heavenly that it could make any woman--who is actually paying attention--ache to get close and take a whiff of him into her soul.

 

Even a single moment, or a solitary taste of him could satisfy her urging heart that pushed her forward towards him….and in some days urges him to come to her.

 

 

In silence and ultimate longing for repair, they secretly dwell, always in hiding—always--until someone else comes along.

The Beginning of Eternity

                             

 

I feel naked, cold, and people seem to stare at me.

 

I feel naked because I'm really naked. Its shower time after gym class and the icy water coming for the shower head seems to pierce my scalp, penetrating my skull to the very center of my brain. I feel numb and my body is having uncontrollable spasms because of the cold. Other boys occupy the gym locker and all of them, except me and a boy on the far side of the shower, are competing over who has gone to third base with their girlfriends.

 

"She's a keeper!" Anthony said, the most athletic guy in my grade and the ex-boyfriend of my best friend, Diane. "I mean, look at her assets! They're so much bigger than that of Diane's, " Anthony screams as he battles with the sound of the water. The other boys agree.

 

"How bout you, Chris?" Anthony continues as he gestures to a boy in one of the shower stalls. I am drying my hair when the boy on the far side emerges from the shower--and to my surprise--naked. His strawberry-blond eight-inch hair flows freely from his head, his body dripping with a thousand droplets of water as if his lean and defined body is embracing those oh-so-lucky drops. I quickly dress--though some parts of me are still wet--to conceal my excitement. And to my disappointment, my clothes now have tiny wet spots.

 

"I haven't got one," the naked boy calmly said.

 

"How can you not have a girlfriend when your body definitely rivals Anthony's?" one of the boys sarcastically said. The other boys guffaw with laughter.

 

As I wait for Chris's answer, he quietly wears his clothes and motions to the bathroom door. As he passes by me, he smiles, as if we share a little secret.

 

Little did I know, we do share something.

 

***

The air smells musky. It seems to carry every odor imaginable. The entire cafeteria reeks of leftover pizza, boiling casserole that seems to have been left in the kitchen for decades, rotten apples, and sweat form the cook's cholesterol-infested neck. For the first time in ages, I'm grateful that Diane literally bathes with her perfume, for it extinguishes the stench that populates the area.

 

"For all I know, the girl probably couldn't stand straight with that package of hers," Diane mentions as I tell her what happened in the boys' locker room. "Let's not talk about the pig. So, who's this Chris, Phil? Your 'lil boyfriend?" Diane giggled like a little girl finding out a secret.

 

"I think he's new, " I said as I try to hide my smile. "Hes cute, that's all, and don't you dare tell him that I like him!" Diane continues to grin.

 

"I don't care! All I know is my best friend has a new boyfriend!" she continues to tease me as she hugs me and shrieks with delight.

 

Our friendly embrace last for a long time, and as I open my eyes, I can see Anthony standing twelve tables from us, his eyes burning with anger and desire. Anger for me, desire for Diane. I shiver.

 

"Phil?"

 

"Yeah?"

 

"Is that Chris over there, cause if he is, you really hit a slam dunk."

 

"Mmm..."

 

***

Detention.

 

I cant believe Mrs. Laurielo gave me detention for looking at Chris during economics class. Is it a crime to look at your crush a hundred times? Come on! I cant help myself. That just proves the she has a metal-encased heart.

 

To make things worse, I am the only one who's in detention today. And to make things even worse, the teacher whos supposed to watch me commanded me to clean his blackboard with a damp rag...and he dare leave the classroom to go to the teachers' lounge?! The nerve. I grumpily wipe the blackboard in a linear motion. Time passes, and the shy outside starts to redden.

 

"Leave my girl alone."

 

Startled, I trace for the voice. The sound leads me to the door, and by it, stands Anthony.

 

"What do you mean 'leave my girl alone?"

 

"Diane. Keep your hands away from her."

 

I just found out the girl with the big 'assets' is only for show--if not a product of his mind--so I would tell Diane, and in turn, make her jealous. I motion towards him. He doesn't flinch. Its hardly a surprise that Anthony rehearsed this moment, for I can clearly see his stern attitude towards me, which is not his nature.

 

"I saw you two hugging during lunch, " his voice louder now.

 

"And? We've been friends since we met."

 

"Just leave her alone. I'm warning you, Phil, " Tony remains still as if his head is the only animated object in the room.

 

We are now facing each other, two inch of air separating us. I raise my left hand and place it on his right shoulder. He trembles for a second and quickly regains his stature.

 

"You dont understand, Tony. I don't like Diane or any other girl...because--"

 

I tilt my head and let him meet my lips, and later my tongue, brushing through his teeth. I taste Reeses flavored saliva.

 

"Because of this."

 

Tony's blazing eyes dart into mine as he pushes me with all his strength. The world starts spinning and soon my head starts to spin too. I stagger backwards and my back meets the side of a wooden table. My fall send sparks in to my spine that rushes through my brain, and finally, I fell to the floor.

 

"You'll pay for this!" Anthony said, shaking now, as he starts to run outside. Searing pain spreads all over his body as if I'm being burned alive. Then, firm but gentle arms lifted my head into the ground.

 

"I saw."

 

"I opened my eyes and saw an angelic face, a face full of concern. It belongs to Chris.

 

"Did he hurt you?"

 

It took me a long time to mutter "yes".

 

His reply is a concerned silence that permeates that room, which permits me to breathe his breath.

 

I smile and the last things I remember before passing out are the manly arms that seem to guide me to eternal happiness...

 

~*END*~